Five Selfish Acts That Could Break Your Marriage
I remember walking down the aisle after the ceremony feeling like every moment from that point was going to be great. I thought we weren’t going to go through any of the things our peers went through because we were “different”. No, we haven’t experienced much being married for only 3 years, having 2 children in the first 2 years, but we’ve had a few rough days. These 3 years have taught me alot; mainly, those selfish acts that could break your marriage.
Within the first year of our marriage, we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, she’s was my pride and joy! However, she was also my fear. I experienced postpartum depression days after giving birth to her. I didn’t know how I was going to be a mother and a wife . It scared the, “you know what out of me”; because I had lived 25 years with only me to consider. Everything I do now depends on my husband and my daughter. One year later i gave birth to a beautiful baby boy; thinking how in the world am i going to juggle three lives, plus my own.
Learning How To Be Selfless
I had to learn how to be selfless because it was no longer about me. I cooked, cleaned, and nursed my son and daughter, day in and day out, to keep a properly functioning home. There were many days when my husband and I weren’t seeing eye to eye, and the kids wanted/needed every minute of my time but i had to put on the big girl undies and go to work! I’m not going to say being selfless is easy, but you have to play whatever role your family needs you to play AT THAT TIME! Even if it means being a doctor at 2am, his business partner, or a naughty school girl, you have to be ready to wear every hat.
It amazes and saddens me to hear women talk about what they aren’t going to do in their marriage. I love the phrase, “happy wife, happy life”. However, what about “happy husband, happy wife”? I know for me, when my husband is having a great day it makes things easier for me, and vice versa. We sometimes forget it takes two people to be in a relationship, and you can be happy all you want, but if he isn’t happy, life isn’t going to a walk in the park.
Selfish Acts That Could Break Your Marriage
- Excessive anger when something doesn’t go your way– Excessive anger in marriage can be a result of many unsolved arguments and disappointments. Frequent frustration, annoyance and negativity can cause domestic violence, frightened children, verbal abuse and more.
- Refuse to give oneself romantically/sexually– “If I can’t find it at this store, I will look for it somewhere else”. Adultery in marriage is NEVER justifiable. However, refusing intimacy with your spouse makes him or her more vulnerable to temptations. Turning down your spouse can make them feel less wanted or unloved. Find ways to spice things up to keep your spouse happy.
- Blames spouse for failures– pointing the finger and never taking ownership of things can become a form of emotional abuse in marriage. To reduce blaming in marriage, try working on better communication. Ask questions like, did I hurt or do u feel sad when, rather than you always do this.
- Unwilling to Cook or Clean- First, find out why your spouse is unwilling to cook or clean. Is it medical, do they hate cooking/ cleaning, or is it plain old laziness? Discuss how you two can compromise on the issue.
- Avoids Financial Responsibility– Consider going back to work or managing the money better to support the family.
Is every role filled in your marriage?
There is never a time to be selfish. Although you should take care of yourself, you still need to consider the hats you vowed to wear.Click To Tweet
Take a few moments and think on your marriage. Are there any roles that need to be filled? Is it a role that you can handle as a wife?
If so, become whoever you need to be, every role doesn’t last forever. Your family needs you.
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