Finding a middle ground is never easy in a marriage. Its usually the place where you’ve had to give up something. Though it can be ugly, there is also some beauty in compromising.
Marriages lacking compromise, usually have a number of ongoing trust and argumentative issues. These issues lead to bitterness and eventually divorce. However, the beauty of compromising is in what you’re willing to give up.
ASK YOURSELF THESE TWO QUESTIONS:
1. Is what he wants, worth more than our marriage?
2. Is it going to hurt me to go without it?
If you answered No to either of these two questions, that’s the beauty of compromise! Its a beautiful thing to give up things for someone else, unselfishly. Unselfish acts like compromising, is what a healthy marriage mirrors.
Remember this, Your reflection on the face of your husband is his joy or his anger. He will wear happiness and self confidence on his sleeve based on his wife, and how she makes him feel. Something as simple as giving up your weekly hair appointment for a bi weekly appointment means your willing to put yourself on the back burner for the well being of your family.
I can hear you now, why does it always have to be me giving up things, T.J?
YOU are the nurturer, its how you were designed. Babies eat from your bosom and live because of you. Recognize your strength; you were created to give. Life begins with you, don’t kill your marriage before birth because you aren’t willing to go through the laboring.
Five Ways to Compromise and Make Your Marriage More Peaceful
- Make Decisions Together- Always include your spouse in every decision. Whether or not you think your spouse needs to be included in your decisions about your hair or outfit, its better to ask what he they think, now, than to not ask and your spouse be disappointed in your decision later.
- Listen to Understand Your Spouses Point of View- It is so hard to listen if you’re yelling. My husband and I use this rule of thumb during every misunderstanding. We use a candle (or whatever object we have handy) and whomever is holding the candle is the only person allowed to speak. The other person isn’t allowed to talk until the candle has been transferred. It takes some getting use to, its also pretty funny at times, but its worth it.
- Rethink your Expectations- Compromising in this area is extremely hard for some women. Some women have certain expectations about their husbands that usually stem from how things use to get done before the spouse came in the picture. Thinking your husband should buy you certain things or do specific things for you because it’s what you’re use to is misleading. Your husband is not your father.
- Keep your Emotions in Check– Women are very emotional. We buy things and say things usually out of emotion. When trying to find a middle ground in your marriage, leave your emotions out of it. Don’t bring up past disappointments, to prove a current point.
- Show Appreciation- Cooking his favorite meal and sending a sweet text goes a long way in marriage. Thanking him for taking out the trash (though you may see it as his responsibility) makes marriage more peaceful.
The birth of a healthy marriage is on the line, and you have to push it into greatness. Way to Go Girl!
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